Monday, May 15, 2017

Spring!

My friends!  Just like spring flowers I have sprung back into your lives!  Hopefully, you missed me, if not…just pretend eh ;)
1 Kings 19:11-13
“ ….When Elijah heard it he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave…”
Where was God?  In the giant wind? The following earthquake or fire? Or was He in the subtle quiet wind which followed?  It would seem that sometimes it is easy to become distracted by the giant gusts of wind, the world shaking earthquakes and the scorching fire.  It would be easy to mistake any of them for God (He’s a pretty robust fella)… but I wonder, is that who God really is?  Is something from God just because it’s big and loud?  I mean he came to Earth as a little baby, born in a manger (essentially a pig pen…dirty, smelly- haha! Imagine Mary “Jesus, clean your room, it’s disgusting!  Were you born in a barn?!” “mmm yeah mom, I literally was…” haha!)
For those of you not familiar with 1 Kings 19, Jezebel (Queen of Israel) has threatened to kill Elijah because in chapter 18 Elijah killed all the prophets of Baal (a false god whom Jezebel worshiped).  Elijah, understandably, is afraid and flees to Mt. Sinai, he asks God to kill him because he doesn’t see any other way out – which I find ironic as he fled from Jezebel because she wants to kill him…  
So God calls Elijah out onto the mountain and passes by and a mighty windstorm hits the mountain, followed by an earthquake and then a fire, but the Bible says that God wasn’t in any of them.  God shows himself to Elijah not in a great wind, powerful earthquake or a flamboyant fire…"and after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper” (v12) He came as a gentle whisper!The word that resonates is gentle.
It’s not as easy to sense something gentle, many times you need to be aware.  Elijah was aware, he was on the mountain – God had told him to go there and then he whispered to him- how amazing that must have been, having God literally whisper in your ear..*psssst Elijah….your fly’s open jajaja!  kidding!  But seriously, i think sometimes we wait for God to make some sort of elaborate grand gesture – which He is totally capable of – but actually perhaps He’s been saying something the entire time but we got distracted by the wind or fire and forgot to wait around for the whisper.
Something has been nagging at me for about 7 months now.  Tormenting me, disturbing my spirit, I haven’t known what to do with it.  Thinking perhaps i have been fabricating something or overreacting.  Since it started I have constantly taken it to God asking for clarification, wisdom…direction to know how to react to this inquietud (which means like restlessness or anxious).  Sensing things, but not being able to discern a straight answer and being very uneasy about the constant murmur which has persisted but i have been too afraid to act on. 
Then, the other night it dawned on me, that this situation is very similar to what I went through back in 2010 when I realized that I would be coming back down to Costa Rica for a term, meaning that I wouldn’t be able to play with my curling team in the upcoming season.  I knew that I had to tell the girls, so they could find a replacement (good luck though, I'm one of a kind! haha!) they needed to know, but my heart was broken, torn –it made me sick to think about and I couldn’t bear it.  However, it needed to be done and I knew God was calling me back to CR, it was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, it was painful and difficult…until I finally got the words out (after a tear-filled breakdown) I was received with such love and support it was though the heavy backpack I had been carrying was finally taken off.  I felt so relieved and at peace and from that moment on it was as though God super charged me.  I had confidence and peace about the decision I had energy and focus – I was no longer distracted by stressing about what my girls would say, how mad they would be (which they had every right to be, we had been seriously training and me leaving ruined that plan, i felt so guilty – how could I let them down like that? especially so close to season starting?)  Yet, once I finally got the words out all the “what ifs?” disappeared.  I had done my job, I was faithful and God rewarded me by alleviating my overactive mind and giving me complete peace.
So this week, I will be listening to the murmur and stepping out of my comfort zone, I would ask that you join me in prayer that the situation goes well and that God would give me the right words, tone and presence.  That I would be able to leave the situation with the same peace and confidence that He blessed me with back in 2010!