you eskimoo!!!!! hahahaha! that was for my mom, pretty sure she just peed her pants! (for those of you not coming from my facebook the question was how do you call an eskimo cow?)
Okay on to business, today started routine, normal bus rides, normal walk. then i got into work. i opened the gate and within minutes was rebuked in front of all the girls i was about to lead in a devotional – talk about embarrassing. Not the ideal way to start out the day BUT God has a purpose for everything. The girls witnessed my reaction (which was calm and non-confrontational woop woop!). Once the study started I had their complete attention (que milagro!). I was so nervous about this study too because historically they don’t give much feedback and tend to just stare at you blankly, it can get awkward. NOT today! It was so exciting I had their full attention and I got to talk about the proverbs 31 woman and why she’s so awesome and how i believe that each and everyone of them has the potential to be her! We talked (because YES they gave me feedback – i asked each of them to share which part stood out to them and why). AH! It was SO awesome! Not only did each one contribute but they did so with enthusiasm and they really seemed to embrace what i was trying to get across to them. I was so encouraged!
One of the girls, Fabiola, shared that her favourite part was verse 18
“She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.”
Out of all the verses this had to be the one that struck me the least, but for her it was encouraging to see that this woman never gives up that she’s always alert. I have to be honest it had never even crossed my mind when i read it. That’s what i love about opening up the floor to others, different perspectives!
We had one boy in the group (because our classes are now co-ed!!!! (answer to prayer right there!) Andrew, liked:
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
How encouraging! He went on to explain exactly what the girls needed to hear. How its better to have someone who’s legit on the inside over some babe with nothing adentro. It sounds super lame and cheesy but you could just sense the confidence being injected. The smiles on the girls’ faces ooooh! I’m sure i probably freaked them out with how zesty and excited i was…well actually probably not, i kind of excite easily haha whatever it was really awesome!
Down here there is a profound oppressive sense of settling for what’s right in front of you or for routine (even if the routine is consistently ineffective , what’s the definition of insanity again?); aspiring for things but not putting in the time to make a legit effort; not following through; no need to reach farther than your arm stretches, a learned helplessness… it can really wear a girl down. But i walked, bueno, more like floated away from the study feeling super pumped!!!
For awhile now I've been pondering over my future and what I'm supposed to be doing with this delightful blessing of a life…
what are your motives? why are you here? How can you learn from your seemingly endless list of mistakes? where is God leading?…
I don’t have the answers for all of them but I've pinpointed a few. My motives i think are pretty clear I want to serve, i want to obey, case and point i want to be in God’s will. i want to see everyone as head over heels in love with Jesus as i am. I have no idea what that means as far as a job, missions, or anything really… I'm a disorganized bundle of confusion these days but i do know that as long as i am searching and asking God’s gona hook me up, maybe not how i had hoped or imagined but He’s not going to leave out to dry. Therefore I'm going to enjoy my last few months as much as possible – i will not shut down even if that means spontaneously tearing up and feeling like my heart is being ripped out becomes a daily occurrence. I don’t want a safe “cookie cutter” route, sometimes its easy to long for one, for the simplicity, but then reality comes back i cringe and get claustrophobic. Life is untamed it is unsafe, especially when God’s hitting the gas pedal! He is not safe – he’s like the antithesis of it actually, his paths would not be described as kiddie trails, however He is good and worth the risk so…“[I] will laugh at the days to come” v25
…muahaha!! right now its like that scared nervous laugh but I'm trying to grow it into a hearty Santa-esque chuckle….one that comes from the gut!
Feliz Navidad!!!
