will i risk loving and pouring myself into someone for years even though they won’t change?
will i risk being alone?
will i risk being uncomfortable?
will i risk losing my plans?
What does it really mean to live life through faith?
These are all questions I've asked myself over the past month. God is looking for me to trust Him. He’s looking for me to be risky...daring me to walk in, at times blind, faith. God risks so much by loving me just so that i can truly understand what it means to choose love. What a guy!!
oh man i feel like its been forever since i updated the internet on my goings on. This past month has been intense, God has been stretching, moulding, and tweaking… man some days it really hurts. However! Its pretty exciting because i know that he’s just making me more like him – if we were a celebrity couple our name would be Jeyla mm or Kasus! Faith is a funny thing and i never really realized but you can have areas in your life where you faith is stronger/weaker, i kind of always thought it was more like a blanket over everything. It is so scary to literally give God FULL control over every detail. It’s easy to say that i give him everything but lately I’ve realized that I've been hoarding some areas. He asks for them but i have such an intense hold on them it’s been reeeally hard to pry my fingers off to release the death grip. *sigh How embarrassing! Thank goodness for grace!
Praise!!!
> Francisca (a student of mine) has 3 young girls and a few weeks back asked me how to raiser her girls to be more like me. I got to share some of my testimony about how i grew up and why i made the choice to abstain from those actions that produce babies. It was so exciting she was amazed that you could actually teach abstinence haha score!
> A few weeks back one of my wonderful students, Mireya, told me that when she is 
with me she feels like she’s with Jesus *jaw drop! WHAAT?!! i was so flabbergasted all i could say was “I'm not Jesus!” oh man that was like the biggest compliment i think that can ever be paid…i get goose bumps just thinking about it now! SO PRIME!!! She also invited me to her house where she set the table and oh it was so cute we played skip-bo ate fried chicken, she made a flan, and made me a fancy basket. I felt so special and important.
> We got to take about 15 boys to camp out in the jungle!!! I saw an armadillo, frog, random monkey, weird bugs. I of course did some serious cooking, slept on two wooden benches and amazed the crowd with my crazy song writing skills! Needless to say the leaders team won the cheer off thanks to my rendition of Shakira’s Wakka Wakka mixed with my friend Chio’s fancy dance moves.
>So everyday I pass a bunch of homeless people throughout my journey. Maybe a month or 2 ago God was really pressing in on me. I really wanted to help them, i thought to myself that maybe i would make some sandwiches and go out and spend some time with them. Realizing 
that while that plan was lovely it was incredibly unsafe so i connected myself up with our homeless ministry. I’ve gone out a few times and seriously its been super wonderful. There have been so many crazy stories – i met a guy who used to live in Vancouver (he gave me graphic details on how his friend used to get drugs smuggled into jail for him – i could’ve passed on that) but it was really neat. I also met the self proclaimed anti-Christ and I am now acquainted with the transvestite whom i used to admire while walking to the bus!!! Anyways I’m so pumped because i get to spend more time with another missionary Don Horacio and seriously this guy is so prime! He has incredible insight and his faith and testimony is so encouraging. When I'm not doing cooking on saturdays in our Carpio ministry I've been going out to another poorer area and helping out with a kids club there. AND! Don Horacio has some daughters and one is my new friend…her and i went roller skating at the local roller rink (yes like Stardust!) and while it was a very blunt lesson in humility as i looked like a complete idiot the entire time i decided to instead focus on the fact that i now have a new friend who is my age AND lives really close to me – walking distance close!!!!
>My mom sent me literally a TON of candy!!!!!! including swedish berries eeeek!
Prayer!!!
My mom literally sent me a TON of candy… my tummy hurts…
4 people died from lightning strikes a few weeks ago. 2 of them happened in the main park (La Sabana). When it started storming many of the players called it quits but these 2 guys and others kept playing because they had a bet on the game.
Today in kids club one of our older girls (i think she’s in grade 6) told us how some girls in her class had, in their school’s library, cut themselves and sucked each others blood in order to commit themselves to Satan. Later that evening they both manifested demons. They had invited her to join in with them, even though she said no she still stayed and watched. She’s pretty shaken up.
I have been struggling with focusing too much on what i don’t have (characteristics, faith, qualities, etc.). Too occupied with my weaknesses when I need to be preoccupied with Jesus and how super delightful he is.
This seems silly for me to write out but it’s actually had quite the effect on my life. My runners keep chaffing the inside of my heels making it really painful to walk let alone exercise. I’ve tried doubling up on socks, taping the area with blister band aids nothing seems to be helping.
Also please continue to pray for my safety (the gangs have been a little more feisty this past week) of course my Spanish and for my relationships to flourish, i mean heartily flourish!!!
Mireya got us friendship bracelets! heehee she’s so fun.
