So here I thought I had been up to date on my blog and just realized that I completely bypassed August (that’s the last time I put months in my titles!) Sorry! I know you’ve all been dying to know what’s going on! Quite a bit to be honest!
The week before last a (newer) friend texted me saying she needed to talk. At first, I pulled a classic kayla and wondered what i had done to hurt/offend her and why she was mad at me, then I stopped myself and said “Hey kayla! You stop that, she probably just wants to talk about missions.” So I relaxed and we booked a time for her to come over for cafecito! *now put this information on hold – we will come back to it. That following Sunday, after church I went and had lunch with another friend. She asked how I've been doing, at which point I kind of melted a little and told her that I’ve been really hurt recently by some people whom I once considered close enough to be family – heck they called me family! I told her how I've been sad about friendships not feeling real. She responded by saying that I have people all around me who are not expecting or waiting for me to do things for them, they genuinely just want to be my friend. Yet, because I’ve been so guarded and shy I haven’t given them the opportunity to get to know me and, in her words, “see how awesome I am” haha! I was embarrassed – I thought I had been open and what had always crossed my mind was “if you want to be my friend you will make an effort to talk to me more than just pleasantries” it hadn’t occurred to me that perhaps I was the one not making enough of an effort or providing opportunity! How silly of me to expect others to do what I was not.
She went on about how there are people in our young adults group who don’t want to get to know me just because I can support them in missions (like I almost immediately presumed about my newer friend), or give then information, or volunteer my time. Which are all good things but I've come to realize that there are people out there who have claimed that we are close friends and yet if I'm not around them right in front, easily accessible on a silver platter they could care less about where I am and what i do (so it seems). It really hurt to think about all these memories i have and be struck by the potential reality that a lot of them are lies, that sounds a bit more dramatic then I would like. The point I’m trying to express is that these people were huge parts of my life and it feels like our relationships weren’t sincere or genuine like I had thought they were.
However, last week (during the cafecito) I had the opportunity to have real friend time, with real conversation from people who really care about me! This friend didn’t want to talk to me about missions! She wanted my advice and insight for some stuff going on in her life and the three of us (my lunch friend joined us) ended up sharing testimonies and building into one another laughing and eating too much bread. I was so happy and filled with joy afterwards that I danced myself to bed and couldn’t sleep until 2am! I was so delighted with how God had just thrown all this stuff he’s provided me with, but I've been blind to, in my face! Then he rubbed it around a bit – like a pleasant face wash (for those of you not familiar here’s what we Canucks mean when we say face wash https://youtu.be/GX2dbUf8Mbg – sorry it was the only thing i could find, in my minds eye the video was way more awesome but at least this one get the message across)
Since then I have had many great days filled with people who just want to get to know me no strings attached. I am making a more conscious intentional effort to not shy away from people (i know many of you do not consider me shy and cannot even fathom the idea of it but it’s the truth!). I have been praying for God to open my eyes to all I have and he really has. It’s hard to believe that I felt so alone before when it’s clear that all I need to do is reach out to what’s right in front of me! Not be bogged down by past hurts and letting them dictate my future. To be frank, the hurts help mould, there’s a quote I’ve always liked by Samuel Smiles which says that “…We often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do…” God also encourages us in James 1:2-4 when he says to “Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance..which must finish it’s work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking in anything.” To me, what God is saying lines up with Smiles. They are both saying that hard times and mistakes are not cause to quit, to curl up and hid under your covers; the reality is they help you to learn and grow! So instead of focusing on the hurt I will focus on what I have learned from these situations, and from that perspective nothing is a waste of time and there’s no need to feel bad!
Praise!
okay lets recap last post’s prayer requests and then we can bask in the joy of all the new great stuff God’s had for me the past two months!
1. The team (late July to early August) went swimmingly, I mean ups and downs of course but I nailed the sermon I had to translate – and on the spot too (no prep time!). It was epic! I wish I had it taped, although my feelings on how it went would probably be shattered if I saw it. Let’s instead live in my memory of it, where I have fabulous hair, a flawless Costa Rican accent and perfect comedic timing! When the team left they gave me these encouragement cards which were completely sweet and a definite moral booster. I’ve turned them into wall art and it’s a good reminder that I’m not a loser.
3. Since my last post i have received THREE new monthly donors!!! THREE!!!! God is So sosososo good! His faithfulness doesn’t surprise me. I got a message from a friend in a sealed envelope, inside was a note saying that he would like to partner financially, that he felt God telling him to help me out! I was so excited (someone else had delivered the envelope to me and she claimed it was a secret love letter, which I guess it kind of was - a love letter from Jesus hahaha! Dear Kayla, I love you so much here is another person who believes in you and what I am doing through you. Love, Jesus. PS. You’re great!) It’s funny, the peace that God gives …it’s like I can’t explain I wasn’t surprised when I got the response card my friend had sent, I mean I was for like a millisecond and then it all made sense and I didn’t know why I didn't figure it out sooner (obviously, because I’m not a psychic!) How would I know that God was going to tell this particular friend what to do. What I mean is God always takes care of me! Always, even when I fight him ,and think I’m winning, he’s like “Okay kayla, you’ve had your fun, now go sit down and let me handle this” - now if only I could apply this to my issues with bureaucracy right?! Please pray that God would continue to provide for me and that there would always be enough.
Now for the new praise stuff!The money got put back into my account! for those of you who don’t remember about 2 months ago I tried to withdraw my rent from an ATM and received no money or receipt and when I checked my online account it said that I had taken the money out and had deducted it from my balance! Yikes! I’m happy to inform that the bank accepted my report (saying “hey I didn’t get any money!”and within a few days (they had said up to 8 weeks!) the money was credited back into my account! Yay!
I’ve been visiting new projects is the same section of Alejuela and met some lovely new pastors <> I have THREE Striders on the line!!! Potentially coming in February! AND the possibility of having TWO teams come next year <> This past week I’ve had a friend visiting, it was fun to be tour guide again and I got presents – which i love, although let’s be honest, who doesn’t love presents?!! <> I have TWO jars of Nutella to my name! <> I have received some very encouraging messages from people within the past month <> My church had a great baptism retreat on Sunday! I taught a bunch of people how to play ultimate and it didn’t rain!
I love reading the book of Job – it’s so handy and encouraging. I’ve been in it for a while, but I don’t want to leave haha I’ve always felt this connection with him. I wouldn’t say I have experienced the loss he has but I guess the way he goes to God and deals with everything. Either way, it’s been a great book to have during these past few months.
Prayer!
- Last month – my neighbours (the house beside my complex) was completely looted. The two guys rode by on a motorcycle and either had the code or a code copier (apparently those are real now) and they were able to open the electronic front gate (my complex has a similar system) and then they came back with a large truck and cleaned the place out. A few weeks later we were finding our complex gate open for no apparent reason, however, for a few weeks now that has not been a problem. Please pray for that family as well as the safety and security of myself and those that live in my complex
- Please pray that my body shapes up, I’ve had some sort of sinus issue for the past monthish, yes I’ve seen a Dr. (well I have a friend who is a Dr. and I asked her about my issues). Basically, i would like to be healthy and breathing normally :)
- Upcoming trip to Peru (Lord willing in November) for a leadership conference. Please pray for safety, a cheap flight, and a smooth process.
- All the regulars (finances, safety, community etc)
Well friends I think that’s a good spot to sign off for now, I hope you all have a lovely week and for my Vancouver family, I feel right at home at the moment as it’s been gray and rainy aaaaall day!
Love kayla xxx
Just a side note, I have recently realized that because I use my email so much a lot of my messages are getting sent to people’s spam folders. To eliminate that issue please make sure I am in your address book.
