It struck me today while i was out walking; Stop lights!!!
So you’re walking, at a good pace, you tap that button and bam up pops the white man and you continue on your way without missing a beat. Other times you get to a light and have to wait a couple seconds – gives you enough time to pause, glance around, ponder a Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman moment with the guy in the fancy car to your left – but before you quit your day job and exchange your cute flip flops for some inappropriate thigh high heels the white man jumps up to save the day and you walk on!
AND THEN! There are those times where you want to pull out your hair as you have been waiting for what feels like an eternity! It is excruciating! Every light but yours has gone off at least twice, when did all those turn signals appear?! Its as though the orange hand is mocking you “oh you want to walk? HA! You cannot for I am the Almighty Orange Hand of Pain!” So you continue to stand..and wait, you cry a little – on the inside of course, and start lusting after ‘the other corner’ "Oh that sweet sweet corner, so lush, so dreamy, I bet the guys are cuter on that corner, probably all single, love Jesus, and have a thing for awkward brunettes enamoured with the Latin culture…” but instead you are stuck on THIS corner where all there is is the button and that guy over there picking his nose…
*this was the moment i burst out giggling on the street
It reminded me of where I am at right now - yes, the corner next to the nose picker! Even before coming back to Canada it has been a given that God will be sending me somewhere or have me involved in something Latin. I am not picky (unlike my neighbour over there! haha) I will go or stay wherever and have made myself open to whatever the Lord has for me. I’m just waiting for ‘the white man’ to show up. There have been quicker lights and much much slower ones. One being that I have been accepted and as a missionary by an organization called Latin America Mission, Canada and we are currently in the discernment process of where/when I should go, the opportunities etc. While it is hard to wait at times it is also wonderful being here and I am enjoying the many blessings that are available to me. I feel like if we were to go back to the light analogy I have 2 options:
1) I can wait for the light to change,
for the white man to come and to be in the will of the Lord
OR
2) I can choose to walk anyway, and risk getting hit or going the wrong way
I believe that God has me on this corner waiting for a purpose, He is preparing and maturing me and while some days it would be wonderful to just pack up, create a spiritualized “calling” from the Lord and head out. I instead choose to wait for the glorious “beep beep….beep beep” of the white man’s unmistakable theme song! It has seemed like many opportunities have come while I have been waiting but the majority do not seem to pan out. They dissolve so quickly at times I wonder if they ever truly existed. It can get discouraging not to mention frustrating and then the other day I came across a great passage which encompasses this last season I have been in:
“Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.”Habakkuk 3:17-19
I have many things to be grateful for and choose to focus on those, one of which is those of you who continue to pray and support me, Thank you so much! I am comforted and blessed knowing that I am not alone. As far as current prayer requests these are a few I have right now:
- It would be great if you could pray that if abroad is where I am to go that an opportunity will come, with my name plastered all over it. Lets go for a clear sign from the big Guy, the bright yellow flashing light kind, that would be ideal!
- I am currently commuting about 2-2.5 hours to and from work each day on top of an 8 hour shift, needless to say I am quite exhausted. I would love for something closer which pays well, offers benefits, and allows me to feel more fulfilled than where I am at the moment.
- To be more focused on the spiritual realm and my relationship with God rather than what I see physically. Fear of the future and all the “what ifs'” is daunting some days, while I know I am secure and that I am in good hands I do get overwhelmed with all the unknowns.
